When I was 29, I lost 3 significant men in my life in a 4-month period.
I was crushed.
My husband and I separated, one of my favorite cousins passed away and my favorite boss left the company I worked. I was deeply saddened – a deep sadness I had never experienced before. I felt broken, bruised and hurt, and I was devastated. And was now a single mom.
Then one day as I was struggling through the pain I stumbled across a story about a butterfly that went something like this:
One day, a small opening appeared in a cocoon; for several hours a man sat and watched for a butterfly to emerge from the cocoon. The butterfly struggled to force its body through that small opening.
The butterfly appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could, and it could not go any further. Then, it seemed to completely stop making progress.
So the man decided to help the butterfly: he took a pair of scissors and opened the cocoon. The butterfly easily emerged.
But it had a withered body; it was tiny and shriveled wings.
The man continued to watch the buttefly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would open, enlarge and expand, to be able to support the butterfly’s body.
That never happened. In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a withered body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly.
What the man, in his kindness and his goodwill, did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were God’s way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings, so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.
Sometimes, struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If God allowed us to go through our life without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as we could have been. Never been able to fly.
I realized in that story that I was the caterpillar during that challenging time. Little did I know that through my challenges and struggles I was transforming and would emerge as a beautiful butterfly.
I loved the butterfly story so much and it gave me hope that my life would get better. I had felt like the strong confident Julie I once knew had gotten lost in my marriage and I couldn’t truly be myself. Through the grieving and divorce processes I started getting back in touch with myself. And even though it was a painful process, I felt like I was emerging a better and stronger and more confident version of myself.
I identified with the butterfly story so much, it became a symbol for me.
To me the butterfly represents a cycle. It’s something that repeats over and over in life. You go through it, get to a new place and then down the road you’ll go through the cycle again. There is no promise that once you get through the cycle you won’t ever have to go through it again. I can tell you that I’ve gone through that cycle many times in my life. The cycle goes something like this:
- Struggle & Uncertainty
- Endurance & Perseverance
- Emergence Into New Life
You are going along in life and you realize there is more out there and you want more, but you don’t really know what it is that you are looking for and you don’t know how to change what you are currently doing. You look around at your life and realize you don’t really fit in with some of the people you’ve been spending your time with and you don’t want to do the same activities you’ve been doing. You realize what was once comfortable is no longer comfortable at all and now you really want to change.
But you don’t know what the heck to do and you feel like struggle is ahead.
Struggle & Uncertainty
You’re frustrated. Maybe even angry. You feel a little dark inside. You even feel like you might be sabotaging yourself because you know you want to make changes, but can’t seem to do it. You aren’t quite sure what to do – but you know what you are currently doing isn’t working.
You start learning some new things, but you aren’t sure what you are doing or where you are heading. You don’t know what life is going to look like down the road. You are uncertain.
Some things you are learning work for you and some things don’t work for you.
You keep trying.
Julie Jacky’s Butterfly Story
You are struggling.
And sometimes you kick and scream.
But you keep trying because there has to be an answer. There has to be something more.
There has to be a way out.
You begin to feel like there are other people in the world that understand you. The new people
in your life start to become friends and you start to see the light. You may even get help.
There is hope.
Through the struggle you’ve created a hole in the cocoon. The light is shining through and you
have hope about what’s to come. You see that you can do it. You see that you can learn a new
way of life. You see that you have support around you. You KNOW you are going to be OK,
even though there will still be some challenges ahead.
Endurance & Perseverance
You’ve made it through some tough struggles. You see the light ahead and have hope. But you’ll be tested in your endurance. Can you handle the pressure? Will you ever really feel relief – more relief than hope brings? The answer is what you decide upon. Of course, I suggest that you tell yourself “Yes, I can handle this!” and “I will feel relief.” “I know I can get through this – because so far in life I have a 100% survival rate.”
You can do this!
Keep doing the work!
And before you know it…
Emergence Into New Life
Julie Jacky’s Butterfly Story
Before you know it you are living your new life. You made it through.
You have new friends.
You have a new way of being.
You have a new way of doing things.
You have new thoughts.
You have new habits.
You have a NEW Life.
You did it!
Take some time to celebrate and enjoy your life and appreciate the struggle that you went through to get to where you now are.
The butterfly is still symbolic for me and now I am sharing it with my clients. I know my clients come to me because they are going through struggles and want some guidance. As they go along their journey I give them hope as I KNOW they will persevere and make the changes they need to find the freedom they’ve been looking for while transforming and manifesting their lives into their dream life.
I’ve been through many struggles myself, completely retrained my brain and changed my life.
Now I am here to guide you do the same. Attend one of my workshops or
schedule a 1:1 session to get started now.
Order my book on the other side to read about my healing journey.