Today I’m grateful for forgiveness.
Yesterday (Friday) around 10:05 AM I found a flyer about a Forgiveness Weekend Workshop. I read the flyer 3 times, looked at my schedule, called the number on the flyer and left a message asking if they had space.
I received a message back that they had space and would see me at 7 PM — that night. (Friday night)
I rearranged my schedule, went home to nap (wasn’t feeling good), had dinner and went to the opening evening of the workshop.
Agenda
Friday night- Forgiveness process
Saturday all day- Forgiveness of others
Sunday afternoon- Forgiveness of self
I knew I was supposed to be there. I had some Forgiveness to do. I was grateful I found that ONE flyer that informed me of the workshop. I was grateful they had space open for me and I was grateful I was feeling well enough to go. I was grateful I was able to rearrange my schedule to attend.
I knew it was time to forgive him. It was time to forgive the person who sexually abused me between age 11-17. It was time to fully let go.
I went to the workshop. Half the room introduced themselves with their stories of who they wanted to forgive and why, and then we started learning about the steps in the Forgiveness process.
I was grateful it was a short evening of learning. I knew Saturday would be a big day.
Saturday morning the other half of the participants shared their stories and then we started going over the Forgiveness process in more detail with a preview of the deep work we would get into after lunch.
After lunch and a short walk in the crisp air we headed back to dive in and do our work. We started with a meditation and then with our eyes still closed the instructor asked for a volunteer to work with her at the front of the room to go through the process. I raised my hand. (I think it was easier to do that with my eyes closed.)
And as I had my eyes closed and my hand raised I asked God to please guide me. “God, if I’m selected, please help me be fully open and please help me clear all this out and fully let go. And if I’m selected, God, please let me be filled with courage so I may be a positive example for the others that will do this process after me. Thank you God!”
The instructor said “you may open your eyes. The lucky winner is you, Julie.”
“Oh shit, what did I just do?” was my first thought. And then I said in my mind “Ok, I will do this. I’m ready. I’m ready to let go. I’m ready to forgive. I’m grateful for this opportunity. I’m grateful to be fully guided by the instructor through this process.”
I took my seat in the chair at the front of the room and followed the 8 steps of Forgiveness the instructor led me through — slowly — one at a time.
With tears in my eyes I said I was ready to forgive my abuser and fully let go. I was ready to forgive so I could fully feel safe again.
With tears streaming down my face I expressed all the emotions I had left bottled inside me from the past regarding the abuse and the abuser.
Rage.
Anger.
Hurt.
Sadness.
Resentment.
And many other emotions came out.
I was so ready to let it all go. Although I didn’t enjoy saying all the things in front of the group I was grateful for the opportunity and process because I knew I would be in a different space once I got through to the other side of the process.
I’m grateful I was in a room filled with loving and supporting souls that held a safe space for me while I went through that process.
I’m grateful I was able to fully express my emotions and let them go.
I’m grateful I was able to release my expectations that were keeping me stuck in the past.
I’m grateful I was able to open up space to allow new and good things to come into my life.
I’m grateful I was able to feel and see the beautiful bright light that was there helping me heal my mind, body & spirit. I could feel things moving and shifting inside my body and I could feel this beautiful unconditional love filling up my heart.
I’m grateful I was able to send his soul unconditional love and grateful for the tear that streamed down my cheek as I sent him love.
I’m grateful I could feel my body relax and let go and calm down inside.
I’m grateful I’m able to see all the good that came from this situation.
I’m truly grateful for the Forgiveness process. I have so much gratitude in my heart my eyes are welling up with tears.
This has been quite a healing journey for me over the past few years and I’m so grateful to have let all this go and to feel peace inside my body as a result of this forgiveness process. I’m truly grateful for the forgiveness process!
Letting go and forgiving, albeit not fun, is way easier than carrying that crap around for years and years.
After my experience yesterday I want to go on a forgiveness immersion! Forgive everyone for everything and experience that freedom!
The world is a better place when we do our work.
And there’s one more thing! The day after I wrote this blog post, look what popped up on my Daily Affirmations from Louise Hay calendar! You can’t make this stuff up!!!
Check out what happened when I attended the forgiveness workshop here.
Please feel free to comment below something you are grateful for today! I would love to hear what you’re thankful for!
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