Are you getting a little anxious about spending time with family during the upcoming holidays? Maybe you don’t really want to tell them how life is because you’ve been having a challenge or two, but really want to be authentic?
If one of your family members asks you how you are doing — and you really aren’t doing too great — it would be OK to say something like “You know, I’ve been having some challenging times, but today I am letting that go so I can focus on time with you and our family. How are you doing?”
That is an authentic statement to say to them. Something that most people will appreciate and respect. And then the question back to them moves the conversation back into their direction.
I know what you may be thinking… ”Well, that might work for some people, but not for me talking to my ____________ (fill in the blank… Mom, Mother-in-law, Aunt Betty). They won’t leave me alone if I said something like that.” Then respond kindly as many times as you need to with the same simple statement (over and over if you have to): “Mom, I know you’re asking out of concern and because you love and care about me, I thank you for that, and I am also asking you to please respect that I am not OK talking about my situation today. I would like for us to focus on a fun and happy time together and I bet you would, too. Thank you for respecting me.”
I know it seems hard, but you can be authentically you during the holidays. Who knows! You might even start a new trend of being honest, self-aware, and open with your family. So take off the Happy Mask and show up as the real you. Your soul will thank you!
Check out this blog on why It’s more important to be Yourself than be Positive.
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